Sex & Me

I've just get laid, with other guy. I thought that that was what i wanted but after the whole experience, i don't know what to think...it almost grossed me out. I don't know if it was the dude that i was sleeping with, whose hideous by the way, or the fact that maybe I'm just not gay...i wasn't turned on in any minute(except when he was sucking it), my body was there but my mind wasn't around.

According to me, I'm gay, but this chapter could change the whole view of myself, i don't know what i want, but I know for sure that is not that ugly dude... maybe a girl? we'll see, only time will tell...

I HATE being 19, everything is so blurry.